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The Sayed did istikhara and it was good.

I did istikhara and it was good.

I did istikhara to send my email and it was good.

Compiles whistling tunes CD.

Happiest when she prayed five times a day.

Loves me and says it meaningfully.

Thinks and says I’m a wonderful, amazing, talented and beautiful person.

Cleared up the issue about her faith, where she stands and that she was a mislead child.

Said that I brought up the subject already three times (which is in reference to her sexual history and in which she responded in her email that she was mislead as a child and has repented and suffered anguish over).

She told you that there’s nothing for you to be jealous about and that she wished she met you first!

She also told you that you are the closest physically she got to anyone.

Reiterated that she was just playing devil’s advocate about drinking when we were in Muharraq.

Reiterated that the content of the message did not offend her, it was just the timing.

The next morning she read her response, and she said that she meant every word of it.

What’s eating at you now is whether you’re the first guy she makes come, and whether you’re the first guy to make her come (which she said you did).

Is this question really important to you? Why is it eating at you? Why can’t you just let it go and be 100% happy and thrilled to have Samar in your life? Why do you expect anything else? She’s 24, you’re 29, both of you have gone through different things in different ways. Stop having hang ups about what she did as a kid, or even what she did before she met you! She met you, she met herself in a sense. And you met yourself in a sense. This is what matters, that the two of you are almost perfect. Not perfect, but almost, but also 100% a sure shot and that in itself is reason enough to simply be 100% happy and thrilled about having her in your life. About sharing everything from this moment onwards, everything, the intimate, the sad, the happy, the exciting, the successes, the failures, everything, with her, your wife to be.

Believe in Samar, believe in God! and that he has a plan for the both of you.

Was annoyed when you mentioned that you keep condoms as a joke.

She initiated that conversation at Abu Subh, saying it was eating at her for weeks -about repenting her sins. Again at Saar cinema.

She said also that she prayed, read the Quran and books on Sufism. She also prayed in your room.

***

Yep, said she repented a lot…. and we had that conversation in the movie room. And then in the car, about the fact that I have sinned with her, but that I have also repented and pulled out of it, helping her strengthen her faith. Our faith. Together. In God we trust. For all things are with Him.